It’s time to teach your child to wipe. But how?
Inside: How do you actually teach your child to wipe? This step by step post has the answers you need.
How many articles exist on the Internet about how to potty train? A million? Maybe more. Everyone on Earth talks about helping kids learn to use the toilet… but where’s the help when it’s time for them to be independent with all their going needs?
Ahem.
No one talks to us about how to teach kids to wipe. NO ONE. Everyone says “make sure they can wipe their butt before school” but then no one actually shows up with information on how to make that happen.
Fine. I’ll do it. I will graphically and somehow eloquently explain “how to teach your child to wipe” and give you all the knowledge I’ve learned from three rounds of wipe-training.
Note: This post is based on cultural practices and norms around wiping that are specific to the United States (where bidets are uncommon and paper is flushed). I fully acknowledge that other practices and norms exist in other countries and cultures.
Let’s get down to brass tacks: this post is about butts
I vividly remember the day when, years after successfully potty training my first born, it hit me like lightning: “This child needs to learn to wipe on their own.”
And a dark cloud descended on my land.
No one had explained to me how to teach a child to wipe and everyone I asked had the same puzzled look or couldn’t remember from their days in the toileting years. “It sort of happens.” “They just learn.” “They’ll figure it out.”
I’m all for child-led learning – trust me, it’s literally my life’s work – but when poop is involved, that’s where I guess I draw the child-led line. I’d like to have a solid hand in this learning process. My carpet, laundry, gag reflex all depends on it.
Before starting this process with my oldest, I came up with a game plan. Turns out, I’m a pretty good planner and what I came up with has been the process for all of my kids, many of my friends’ kids, and lots more families who have dared to DM some lady on the Internet asking for a wiping tutorial (so much respect for those people – that takes guts).
So now I write this for all the world to see: A how-to guide on wiping butts – and somehow, this doesn’t feel that abnormal in my line of work.
What age should a kid be able to wipe themselves?
Age is but (lol) a number. There’s a lot more that goes into wiping than a chronological date stamp of “here your parent wipes for you” and “now you have to do it alone.”
Here’s what I considered with my kids:
- Can their arms reach? I was pretty shocked realizing how old many children are before they can “reach” the target. Check they can reach before assuming they are ready for this skill.
- Are they dexterous enough? Do they have the coordination for this? Wiping takes a shocking amount of skills. This is why wiping is one of the last steps in potty training.
- Is the maturity level there? This is especially personal for each family but you are mostly looking for cues that your child can handle this fairly major responsibility.
For my kids, this was sometime from 4-5 (approximately), with the major goal being kindergarten-age. If your child is attending traditional school (vs homeschool) they need to be able to wipe before going to school.
A quick note as a teacher:
Putting my teacher hat on over my parent hat right now: every year in kindergarten, it is heartbreaking for the kids who come to school without wiping skills. And many do.
There are often tears. It’s awful and gut wrenching, but legally, public school general educators are strictly forbidden from toileting students (this is different for many special educators who receive additional certification/clearance in toileting).
No matter how much I wished, wanted, or would have helped: I could not. Teachers cannot help. Please, please, please make sure part of your child’s kindergarten readiness is wiping.
RELATED: Looking for more non-academic kindergarten readiness skills? Read my list.
The official step by step: How to Teach Your Child to Wipe
Disclaimer: This is what worked for my family. Take it with a grain of salt, find ways to make it work for your family, or shrug me off completely.
I’m not trying to say that I’m an expert in the wiping field, but without too much TMI about my children, we are a “skid mark free” house. That feels like as good a credential as any for my wiping method.
I’m breaking this into STAGES because each stage needs time – how long is up to you and your child and how it’s all going.
A lot of the wiping process is scaffolding and stepping kids through information that is both second nature to us AND that we have no memory learning ourselves. It’s tough to teach from that position, which is why I’m happy to share some guidance.
Stage 1: Setting the stage for actual wiping (the before wiping steps)
There are 3 “pre-wiping” steps to take with a child to set the stage for their independent wiping future.
1. How to fold toilet paper and how much to pull
First up on the road to wiping is understanding how to get toilet paper, how much to pull, and how to fold that paper for usage.
Before your ever ask your child to start wiping, ask them start helping you with gathering the toilet paper. Show them how much to pull. Show them how to fold it. Do this on repeat. Have them be the “puller and folder” of the toilet paper, and then pass the paper on to you.
Stay in this stage a while. Get your child really, really comfortable and fairly expert level at pulling and folding paper – don’t rush. Rushing or skipping this step is how toilets in your future get clogged.
2. Narrating the process
You are going to over share and over narrate the wiping process.
To kids, butts get wiped basically magically.
We know that’s not true. There’s so much know-how and knowledge that goes into this.
Talk openly about what you are doing when you wipe them. “I’m working front to back (explain why!).” “I’m checking the toilet paper to see if we are done.” “I’m refolding it to keep wiping from a clean spot.”
These are all parts of the wiping process that are second nature to adults but kids need explicit teaching, modeling, and information about in order to learn.
3. Consider an open door policy
If you are comfortable, an open door policy on your own wiping is very helpful. You don’t need to show them anything, per se, but letting them watch your process and hearing you narrate your own steps is big.
My feeling was always this: they’re in here anyways with me because heaven forbid I poop alone, why not make it educational?
Stage 2: Learning to Actually Wipe
Like I wrote earlier, for me, this was a very very “hit me like a ton of bricks” moment with each child. It’s like choosing a good melon, you just know when it’s time to teach them to wipe and it’s time to start handing over this step of independence to them.
As ridiculous as it may sound, wiping becomes one of (if not the) last bit of the baby we loved so much. Despite all the jokes about “I’m so tired of wiping butts!” – for many people, this is an emotional final step that closes the door on this child’s baby years. I get that.
Stage 2 is all about scaffolding the wiping process.
Scaffolding is a term used in education that means “an adult is going to provide a lot of help to a child who is learning a new skill and scaffold their learning so they’re capable of success, then slowly start pulling back until the child is fully independent.”
That’s what we are going to do with wiping.
Now that they are experts a getting toilet paper and folding it, and you can see their arms are long enough, they’re dexterous, and the maturity is there: it’s time.
Scaffolding part 1: Wiping together, you do the most work.
Ask them to hold the toilet paper. You will need to (guess what) model how to do that. Show them how to hold the paper to prepare for wiping.
In this first step, they are going to have their hand on the toilet paper with your hand over the top of theirs. You will be doing the bulk of the work here, making their hand essentially an extension of yours. Think pottery scene from Ghost.
You will very specifically and openly narrate this process. Name the anus. Talk about how to clean it. Give them every single piece of information that you can about what you are doing, looking for, how to know you’re done, etc.
Again, in this first scaffolding phase, you are guiding their hand while wiping but you are leading this expedition and fully in control. Their hand is there to start learning what wiping feels like and the motions of this.
Stay at this stage of scaffolding as long as needed. Do not rush to the next stage for the next poo. Stay in “part 1” until you feel they are ready for part 2.
Scaffolding part 2: Wiping together, you work together.
In this second part of scaffolding, the child begins to take on a bit more of the wiping workload. With your hand still guiding theirs, take off some of the pressure so they are a bit more in control (though not fully yet).
Daily, you’ll adjust how much they are guiding the process as you quite literally begin to pull back.
Scaffolding part 3: Wiping together, they do the most work.
Have you ever seen a child on training wheels where the training wheels aren’t even touching the ground anymore, but the child won’t remove them because they like to know the training wheels are there?
That’s this stage. Your hand will now be lightly over their hand during the wiping process, doing little actual work (just moral support).
This is the stage in wiping where you start to see them “getting” it. You’ll feel and notice that you aren’t as involved. They’re doing it. You’re just there for support and any emergencies.
They’ve come a long way by this point. It’s almost time to wipe on their own.
Stage 3: Independent wiping (Rafiki voice over: it is time)
Don’t rush to independent wiping. There is no prize for rushing through the foundation of Stage 1 or the Scaffolding of Stage 2.
In fact, skid marks, itchy butts, and bathroom messes befall rushing…
When your child is ready for full independent wiping (ie: your hand is no longer with theirs wiping – you’re just sort of there), here’s what I do.
- For the first few independent wipe attempts, stay in the bathroom. Be the cheerleader on the sidelines.
- Give a “courtesy” wipe (kind of like a spot check) before they get up.
The Courtesy Wipe is actually crucial for multiple reasons.
The Courtesy Wipe gives you a way to support your child so they don’t feel totally hung out to dry on this process. You’re still scaffolding and they have a safety net.
The Courtesy Wipe gives you a chance to “spot check” how they did and offer additional support immediately.
If you notice that Courtesy Wipes are consistently not clean, go back to Stage 2: Scaffolding. We want them to master this skill, not rush to a “faux-mastery” level. It’s much more comfortable to go back a stage than press on.
Stage 4: Totally independent toileting
Eventually, you’ll phase out the Courtesy Wipe and that’ll be it. Your days of wiping this child have come to a close. And thus closes one major chapter in parenting.
This concludes “How to teach your child to wipe”
…A blog post I never thought I’d write, but I’m glad I did because no one talks about this. So let’s change that.
If you use my method, or have one of your own for teaching kids, comment below so we can give other parents even more tips/tricks for helping kids with this often overlooked skill.
Susie Allison, M. Ed
Owner, Creator
Susie Allison is the creator of Busy Toddler and has more than 1.9 million followers on Instagram. A former teacher and early childhood education advocate, Susie’s parenting book “Busy Toddler’s Guide to Actual Parenting” is available on Amazon.
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Julie says
Oh my goodness! The blog post I didn’t know I needed! My son is 5 and it suddenly dawned on me recently that he’s not learning to wipe himself and I’m going to have to teach him. Cue the sweat pouring out of my forehead. I have never even heard this discussed before and it never occurred to me that this part of parenting would make me feel so lost and terrified. What’s even more shocking is that I just got done reading a blog post about wiping butts and was in tears because you reminded me that my my last shred of “baby duty” is coming to an end. 😭 THANK YOU for this very helpful and touching post!
Ashlee Pimpas says
Absolutely incredible! Bravo! You’re correct that no one writes about this. But you have given a brilliant tutorial. I am in awe!
Sarah says
This is brilliant! Thank you!
Whitney Lindhe says
My God you are an angel! You just helped me ease anxiety I didn’t even know I had yet. We just potty trained a month ago. Also, this part couldn’t be more true: “ My feeling was always this: they’re in here anyways with me because heaven forbid I poop alone, why not make it educational?“ Thank you for this!!
Mada Jaafar says
i bow to you 🙆🏻♀️🙇🏻♀️
Siri says
When should I get rid of the “little potty” and have the kid go on the regular toilet? She’s almost 3 and we’re still on the little trainer one. Also, thanks for writing this, I’ve been wondering when we should begin the wiping tutorial!
Nicole D. says
Thank you for this post!! Kindergarten starts in a month and I’ve been dreading this, not knowing where to start.
chelsey geraghty says
While it may have been a blog you never thought your write, I’m so grateful that you did!! Wiping is one of the many mysteries of parenting that leaves me wondering, yet again, how on earth millions of babies are born every day and yet I am JUST NOW figuring this out BY MYSELF!?! Anyway, I guess I can now cross wiping off that list – thank you!
Nisha says
Thank you for this!!! Really helpful!
Katherine Marshall says
THANK YOU for this. It makes sense, it’s what I would probably do, but reading it in your relaxed way of writing it makes me feel so good about undertaking this process. You’re AMAZING!
Star says
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! My oldest starts school in September and I had no idea how to teach this. Tried the other day to no avail. I will start your process tomorrow and I know it will be fabulous! This mama is grateful for this “lady on the internet 🙏🏻“
Kaitlyn says
Thank you so much for this, we’ve been really struggling teaching this skill.
Stephanie says
Thank you sooo much for this. I have a 2.5 yr old and am planning to send him to a school next year that needs him to be potty trained and fully able to wipe. I’ve been slowly researching and have been sooo nervous esp about the learning to wipe part so I’m very grateful that your post came at the perfect time! Thank you again for all that you doo. (;
Brittney says
You are a true American hero!
Ashley French says
Thank you so much for writing this! I needed this info and the process sounds so doable!
E. Frank says
Quite right you are—I myself have commented on the lack of this information on potty learning. Shame. Entertaining and helpful. Kudos.
Mona says
This is very helpful, thank you for putting it in perspective. We are a family (in the US) who use a bidet for extra cleanliness. I use it on my young kids as well. However while potty training them I would use a spray bottle to make sure I got them very clean. I don’t quite understand getting a full clean with just toilet paper but these tips are really helpful. Love the scaffolding analogy!
Sydney says
This may be a silly question, but here we go! They should still be sitting right? I mean right now my son is 4.5 and he does most of his own wiping, but I think he stands up to wipe. Maybe because when I help, he is standing??
Kayla Marie says
I teach this in my Primary classroom, it’s incredible how many children come to school unable to wipe themselves! I am not able to be in the bathroom with my students, so instead we learn this skill during our morning meeting. I saw on TikTok a teacher who taped two balloons to a chair to make a bum and showed her students that way — so that’s what I did! We learned how to fold the toilet paper, how to twist around and wipe, how to keep wiping with a clean spot. The most important part was we made a rule of a “courtesy flush” when they first poo, because our pipes are tiny and if they put TP down with the poo the toilets always clog. Then they get 4 wipes, another flush, and 4 more wipes if needed. It worked so well and we talked about it over several weeks of school. Parents are always so grateful, but I still wish they came to school with these skills! Especially since we can’t help in the bathroom, just coaching from the doorway.
Devon says
This ‘cracked’ me up. Well written and not information you can find anywhere else.
Josie Robinson-Parker says
This is absolutely great! Thank you. Any tips on implementing this mid way through? My 3 yo has been winging it herself and then we have been doing the “check wipe” (most of the work). She’s fiercely independent so I need to be clever about going back to stage 1 so she doesn’t feel like I’m taking power back. Maybe combine a few stages? Thanks, your work is so valuable and appreciated 🙏
Therese says
This couldn’t have come at a better time! My daughter will be 3 the end of August and she’s showing me now that she’s ready for potty training.
Having a sister with three children, and one who would have sore bottoms, itching down there, and once a urinary tract infection, I wondered how to go about avoiding those uncomfortable and avoidable problems for my daughter.
Thank you so much for this article! Thank you for all the work you do and sharing it all with us. I love your page and the content. God Bless!!
Nicole Verkuyl says
I am so glad you wrote about this! Around December 2021, I asked my friend, how do you teach a kid to wipe? I was like, I can’t believe I am asking this, but I am honestly not sure. I realized that his arm really wasn’t long enough to go around the back side! I knew I had to start preparing him for going to kindergarten in August 2022, so I did the exact method that you explained! He is now independently wiping, and reading for kindergarten in the fall! Your blood was spot on, helpful, and hilarious! Thank you for writing this!
Sarah Pearey says
This is amazing. I am 100% in this moment with my 4 year old and 5 1/2 year old. I’d like to just add, that quality toilet paper is highly important in the beginning processes. My 4 year old is really struggling getting the cheap paper off the role, and ends up trying to wipe with a finger nail size piece of paper, while shredding of other attempts start to clutter the floor. I think a lot of public schools probably use cheap toilet paper too, so eventually progress back to it. Another thing I’ve been phasing into our routine of potty training, is during bath time. It’s good practice without the actual poop involved, just a washcloth, bubbles and guidance 🙂
Anna says
My sister explain it by draw as well: with my niece they make all the phase on a paper and then hung it between the toilet and the bidet (we are in Italy so after the wiping and the clean paper you wash yourself). It really helps.
Natacha says
Dear Susie,
Thank you for this post I’ve been looking for so long. It seems to me an important information has been left out : for all this wiping what is the position of the child ? Standing ? Leaning over ? At what stage does the child learn to wipe while sitting on the toilet like grownups do ?
And also : it seems to me toilet paper doesn’t wipe at all as well as humidified wipes. What’s the best technique ? Do you have wipes in your toilet (though there won’t be any at school) ?
Alison says
This is great / thank you Susie! My oldest has regressed a bit with this skill lately (when i thought we were done) so i think ill try the scaffolding part and see if that helps get her confidence back! Looking forwrd to trying with my younger kiddo soon too! This is such a great post!!
Natacha says
Last thing : I have only just learned today at the age of 33 by my husband that boys wipe by putting their arms behind their backs ! I only have sisters, I never saw a boy wipe, I thought I was going to teach my son to wipe by going between his legs like we do 😮 ! Maybe this should be mentioned ?
Ciara Maples says
Omg I am literally JUST at this stage with my twin boys and was like ‘how the heck do I teach them’ this. So thank you thank you thank you for this post. So super helpful! Thank you so much. 😊
Luisa says
Lovely Sunday reading. I did not even know I needed to read this masterpiece. Well done. Thanks. Many many generations will certenly benefit for the detailed descriptions. Really. I am going to stand up now because it deserves a standing clapping!!!!
Zazowiezo says
If there was any situation i would describe as serendipitous this would be it! I’ve been following you on insta for couple years now and though you’ve got me threw plenty of difficult days with my toddler this takes the cake🤓
My daughter’s just turned 4 and here in the Netherlands that means she’s finally enrolled in preschool and will start after the summervacation is over. To that end, i’ve enrolled her in the schools summer vacation childcare program in the hopes of her finding her footing and be more confident to start the school year. And ofcourse some me-time for mom during the summer😈
Teachers in the Netherlands are also not allowed to wipe butts. I’ve been explaining to my 4-year old she will need to take care of this on her own. However she refuses to wipe at home and makes me do it every single time. She claims she did do it herself at daycare and will continue to do it at school but she wont do it at home, since she doesn’t want to wash her hands. (To this end, she doesn’t touch anything in the bathroom but the wall across the toiletseat in order to climb on to the seat, which i clean diligently after every use🙈). I’ve been asking her to wipe herself for weeks now, without any progress whatsoever.
I will most certainly try your strategy, and immensely gratefull you’ve posted it!
Hermi says
Fantastic advice! Thank you so much!
Sarah Oberhellman says
Thank you for this. So tired of skid marks and back tracking a little so “the laundry lady” isn’t so disgusted anymore. The oldest is nearly 7 that whole “he’ll figure it out” advice still hasn’t rung true. Thank you thank you!!
Carley says
THANK YOU! Thank you, thank you, thank you. This couldn’t have come at a better time. Your potty training how-to was a true life saver for me. (Really helped me understand the many stages of potty training). I didn’t know I needed this tutorial but I DID. And, of course, written with all of the humor (and grace!) I know I’ll get from a Busy Toddler article. Susie, you are the best!
Laura DiMasi says
What a great, informative post. I’ve got potty training my first ahead of me and was worried about this part. Thank you for writing what no one else has!
Chelsea Luitwieler says
Thank you so much!!
I only have a month until my kiddo starts kindergarten and I have been lost trying to figure this out.
Here’s to hoping we can progress as well as we can until then!
Jennifer Enriquez says
I am nearing this teaching zone with my youngest of 4 and this was quite helpful.
Thank you!
Crystal Ruiz says
This was a fantastic read! My 5 yr old is going to kindergarten next month and has shown interest in independent wiping vs calling mommy in, so I will absolutely follow this guide. Time to let her grow up a little 🙁 I will be sharing this with other parents! Thanks again
Kira says
I needed this! Thank you. Also no one talks about how to wipe when a kid is potty training, when they are still on the little potty. I was having my girls bend over and put their hands on the ground so I could get a good wipe. Not sure if that’s the best method now but also don’t think I could get my hand under their butt to whipe it good.
Jessica says
Thank you for this post! Such a crucial part of toileting that is often overlooked and so important for a child’s independence!
Katie says
I was literally planning on googling this today! Thank you so much for this!!!!
Holly says
I love this, thank you!! Such important info and the first I’ve seen it broken down like this. 🙂
Mariah says
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally don’t remember how I taught my oldest and now I’m trying to start with my second. I think girls are easier because they start learning to wipe after pee from the get go. Totally different with a boy who is far less independent. Been waiting forever for his arms to reach. 🤣
Chelsea says
Thank you so much for writing this! We have not yet started potty training, but are headed there soon. It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t even think about the wiping phase of learning. It’s so helpful to have a seasoned parent to lay it all out, because that definitely doesn’t get much airtime in potty training books/courses. Thank you thank you!
Robin says
What would you do for a 5 year old starting K in a couple of months whose arms truly don’t seem long enough? She is otherwise ready and we have tried and I just honestly don’t think she can reach.
Craig says
Do you teach boys differently than girls? Girls wipe from behind so they don’t pull towards the vigina. But boys don’t have that so they can and it’s easier to wipe reaching underneath and pulling forward.
Jen Dean says
Fantastic blog. First of its kind and totally helpful! Thank you for braving the topic with nothing but (lol) the best sense of humour and busytoddler wisdom. Now to start the 💩 wiping phase 🤭 I guess if we made it through potty training we can do ANYTHINGGGGG 😂
Sandra says
Wow, the things you don’t realize as a mom that you need to teach! I thought I had covered everything and then some, by teaching her to “pat, pat” after she peed, to prevent her from getting a bladder infection. Thankyou for this post! Now I see why she is having a hard time doing it on her own. She simply just can’t yet!!
Jen says
Honestly, thank you SO MUCH for this. I’ve been feeling like it’s time to take this step and this method totally makes sense!
Sara says
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS!
Katie says
This might be the best blog post I’ve read! I am a potty trainer and I’m sending this to all my clients! I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Emily says
Thank you for writing this! Super helpful!
Jennifer Ogilvie says
This is great information! I am a retired early childhood administrator who taught potty training classes for the parents and had a whole section on wiping skills! Bravo for getting the word out there!
Paula says
This is great, thanks! What advice do you have for the 4 year old who waits for the pull-up at night for number two!? She isn’t quite there with being dry all night and is a heavy sleeper, so we still need the pull up at night. But she has trained herself very well to wait for the pull-up and we cant think of anything else to try!
Lauren Nygard says
Bless you, my sweet Instagram mom friend. Bless you.
Fiona says
Thanks! I will try this with my four year old.
Emily Campana says
Thank you for this! I have a just-turned 4 year old and will use this. I know this isn’t the goal of this blog, but my 4 yo still uses a training potty at home. Do you suggest we move him first to big potty? (We also have a newly trained 2.5 yo so it’s hard to make the move!) Thanks!
nicole says
Ahhh love that you’re a folder. What do you do when your co-parent is not a folder but a scruncher and therefore doesn’t sensibly fold the paper to get a clean part but instead takes another 423 sheets of paper to scrunch and wipe again….
Mary says
It’s like you’ve got a camera in my house! I’m needing to teach my son this, and it hasn’t come at a better time. Thanks for the education and the giggles hahaha. Skid mark free…
Jackie says
You’re amazing. Thank you for writing this. I can’t believe this hasn’t been published before!! It is so important!
Sarah says
This is amazing! And you’re hilarious. With my older child, I used to give the first wipe and then had him practice after I did most of the dirty work. Ive absolutely been putting off teaching my younger one because I didn’t feel ready for the struggle that I know he will give! I think he’ll be excited to pull the toilet paper off though. Fingers crossed this gentle approach gets us going! Now do a post on how to potty train through the night to get out of those diapers! 😜
Mack says
With my oldest son I realized I hadn’t even really been giving him much opportunity to wipe until he was at least kindergarten age (during the pandemic). I started having him take a crack at it (pun totally intended) and then I would check him. After awhile I got tired of wiping so much off of him and realized he didn’t know where exactly to wipe. I apologize if this sounds really vulgar but I started telling him a little rhyme to help him know where the start and finish are. I tell him to wipe from the balls to the halls (meaning start as far forward as he can reach and he’s finished when his hand slides up and out towards the hallway.) He’s a lot better now but still needs to perfect his skill. Now when I check him sometimes he is clean and sometimes there are streaks.
Em says
Honestly…thank you!!
Kelly Harrison says
Thank you for this!! We’ve been hovering in stage 2 for awhile just out of habit so this was just the push I needed to graduate on before she goes to kindergarten & it’s so nice to not have to hear “mommy – I pooped!” Wet wipes also help!
Jessica says
You are the actual best. I needed this and I love you. Thank you!
Brooke says
If it helps anyone with explaining how much toilet paper to use, we put a line of washi tape on the wall (a sticker would work too) to show where to pull the paper down to in order to have enough but not too much.
Francesca O’Ruairc says
Absolute gold. Thank you for writing this!
Lindsay says
This is great! I am not a good teacher, my oldest is 6 and constantly wants me to check… and if I’m being honest she has really Just started doing it on her own and she is terrified. I’m going to go back through this with her and show her how to fold the paper etc. because I didn’t do that!!! Thank you!!
Michelle Palmer says
What a fabulous post!!! I am going to implement this with my middle child right away!!! Thanks Susie!!!
Sarah says
Well now I’m sad that my baby isn’t a baby anymore! 🥺 But I am so so grateful for this article! Thank you! I had no clue how to teach this last step of potty training!
Megan McNiff says
Thank you for writing this! I have a 4 year old and need to start this process. So helpful
Brenda DeLarosa says
Thank you for this! It is exactly what I need to start teaching my child to wipe. She is ready.
I have two questions .. do you ever teach them to use a wipe instead of toilet paper? I usually wipe her with a wipe. Do you show them both in the case wipes are not available?
And second.. (this might be a little too specific) do you think is easier to teach them to put their hand between their legs or around the back? Lol. I hope that makes sense.
Thank you so much!
Tiana says
Thank you for this!! Have you ever seen or heard of the 2 balloons technique for teaching kids to wipe? I haven’t tried it yet but thinking of trying it with my second child who will be learning soon. It’s entertaining at the very least!
https://www.boredpanda.com/teacher-teaches-kids-butt-wiping-balloons/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Valori says
I love this! So many great ideas and excellent teaching! I recently wrapped up training wiping to my 4 year old. We also used a scaffolding process but rather than us wipe together, I asked her to begin doing 1 wipe alone. I coached “front to back.” I praised. I made sure the wipe landed in the toilet! After 1 wipe, I would take over. I also used narration during “my turn” and some counting to show that number of wipes can vary. When her 1 wipe became proficient, I started requesting 2 from her, then 3, etc, until I could say, “all clean?” And then, yes to the courtesy wipe! Our final step, too! 👏🏼
Ana Ruiz says
Wow! So, so helpful. Thank you, Susie. Starting this TODAY! As I read this, all the steps seemed so obvious, BUT I definitely wouldn’t have come up with this step-by-step process myself. Especially the detailed breakdown of each stage; I would have thrown all the steps mixed together and it would have been skid mark city for sure! Hahaha. Thanks for writing!
Jen says
We’re just beginning the toilet training process, but thanks for this. I like having a bit of scope and sequence 😉 ahead of time, and this part of the process is certainly skipped in the guides. Thank you for filling in the blank.
Robyn says
This was super helpful! Thank-you so much!
BriAnn Hofheins says
Thank you for this!! I was seriously stressing about how to teach my son this skill and stumbled upon your post. Such a great guide!
Harriet says
This is hilarious and so helpful – thanks for bringing the laughs along with the facts! My 3.5 year old starts kindergarten in September and I’ve been wondering exactly how to go about this, so thank you.
Jadeyn says
Thank you! And I feel a little dumb, but that part about how you’ll know when it’s time and how it can feel sad like you’re closing a chapter on parenting – yep, totally got me and made me tear up…. While reading your blog about wiping butts!! So thanks for laughs and the cries! Definitely helpful!
Candace says
I needed this about four years ago!! I actually asked a friend who gave me great advice but I love that you’ve gone one step further and make it a plan. With my son I wiped first and let him go second. Then we switched and then I stopped. We had a few itchy butt/skid mark situations but those were the much needed real life consequences necessary to get us to full independence so I didn’t worry too much. I am going to try your method with my twins who are four this next year before kindergarten. Thank you so much for writing this!!
Kimberly says
I almost cried when I saw this come up on Instagram. I have an almost 5 year old and this is our current struggle. And as you said, not something you talk about.
My son is still on a potty seat and so can’t reach very well because it’s in the way. Do you have tips about when to ditch the potty seat?
Carli says
Do you think “folding” or “bunching up” the toilet paper is the best method for the “new wiper”?
Jessika says
This is so helpful!! THANK YOU!!! Question though – how much toilet paper have you taught your kids to pull at this stage? 4 squares? 5? And do you always suggest folding it vs. wadding it up? I know everyone’s different, but I’m curious what you’ve found to work for all your kids. And what are your thoughts on flushing if they’re not entirely done after one or two wipes?
Alix says
Thank you for writing this post! My daughter is 4 going on 5 and while she mastered potty training earlier than my oldest (boy), she’s continued to struggle with wiping and I wasn’t sure how to help without making her feel like she was regressing to a toddler phase (her little brother is currently potty training). This article is extremely helpful and gave me several ideas on how to help her – thank you!!!
Melissa says
Which is the best way to teach them to wipe their bum? Through the legs or coming from behind? My husband and I both wipe differently, so I’m curious what other people do.
Lauren says
Great timing on this. Thank you!!!!!!
Carol Kouri says
Hi Susy, thank you so much for this blog! It came like a glove, because Im recently struggling with my 5yo daughter. Soon will go to kindergarten, and she doesnt want to wipe her butt because she is afraid of getting poop on her hand. Anyways, Im gonna follow all your steps. Hugs!
Denise Weaver says
This is perfection!
I will add, we taught 3 wipes max then flush, wipe more if needed. Also, to check each wipe and only stop when toilet paper is clean.
My twin boys are starting kinder this year so we’ve been practicing all summer 😜
Hannelize says
I wish it was so easy with my 3y old grandson. He refuse any help with this department. Any tips how to sort this out?
He will rather have a bath to wash off the poopoo than to let us help him.
busytoddler says
Hi, Perhaps you might introduce him to flushable wipes or a bidet. That may be your best tools in helping him feel clean. I’d start with introducing the wipes as something for you all to do for him. 3 is pretty young to be able to reach and handle this responsibilities so wipes may be a good middle ground between toilet paper and a bath.
Jennifer says
Great article! Thank you so much for posting. My question is, his preschool (which he starts in three weeks) requires him to be wipe-trained. He’s only three and can’t actually reach his own butt from the back. What on earth do we do in this situation?? He can’t physically do it but is required to? My only thought is teach him wiping back to front for now and correcting that later? Thank goodness he isn’t a girl, but what if he was? So lost.
busytoddler says
That’s probably what I would do to. Find the path of least resistance. If he must wipe for preschool, I’d go between the legs and thank goodness he’s got that equipment for it 🙂
Jennifer says
Haha thank you!!